Peer Edit Review

During the peer edit, Vishal helped me by showing me some places where I was Reflecting too much and was not showing the reader. In some paragraphs he pointed out where I should add some dialogue to help the bring the reader into the story, so they can become part of the story instead of just reading it. Also, I needed to put more descriptions into parts of my story, because they lacked detail. Vishal also pointed out some good examples of my good descriptions, so I could try to put more into other portions of my paper. There were a few grammatical errors that Vishal pointed out for me, so that I could fix them. Vishal did not tell help too much with the style advice for my paper though. Overall the peer edit seemed to be very effective.

Dinner Description

Tonight for dinner I had a salad, a barbecue turkey sandwich, a piece of chicken, and some bbq ribs. The salad consisted of some moist iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, grated cheese, and caesar dressing. The dressing was a little bitter. The barbecue turkey sandwich was very good, the barbecue sauce was very tangy and a little spicy. The roll was slightly soggy from the sauce, and made a bit of a mess. The chicken was a little dry, but was still good. It had some kind of spice on it, but I could not tell what. The ribs were a bit fatty, but overall good. Along with the food I had 2 cups of wild cherry pepsi with ice. It was very refreshing. I ate with my roommate, will. We went to the south side buffet located in redifer commons. The line for the buffet was not very long, most likely because we went fairly early. There was a lot of empty tables in the buffet.

Free Write

I spend most of my time listening to music and playing videogames. I spend my time doing this, because it makes me feel relaxed and takes away the stress of everyday life. I listen to music everyday just to calm me down, and depending on what kind of mood I am in I will listen to a different style of music. I play all types of videogames from shooting games to sports. I play videogames, because they take your mind off of everyday life and it's as if you are in an alternate world. They interest me, because I have always enjoyed listening to music although i go though trends of what kinds I listen to, I still always have liked it in general. In my opinion, there is no greater thing than sitting in a quiet room and listening to music. My fond of videogames did not start until middle school, but once i started playing them I only played more.

Free Write

Ever since I was little I can remember my older sister getting in trouble with my parents. I found that learning from her mistakes helped me avoid trouble, even if she never did. So, since I was little I have tried to appease my parents and other authority figures. This worked out very well, I rarely got in trouble. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way I forgot how to state my own opinion, because I was too busy trying to make everyone else happy. I found that trying to make everyone else happy can cause oneself to become very short-tempered. As I grew up I realized that it was not worth my time to worry about how everyone else felt about my actions. This seems rather selfish, but it has helped me become an overall happier person. So, it is not worth my own suffering to make sure that I do not upset anyone along the way.

Narrative Reading Response

The narratives we read were had little structure to them. It was just an account of someone's experiences as they happened how they were important to the author. The tone of a narrative is much less professional, and more of a story with an argument hidden inside. This is different from the other papers we have written, because we were supposed to clearly state the point of the papers within the papers themselves. The techniques the author uses are more to appeal to the readers emotions, and less about the ethos of the author.

The purpose of I Kept Playing was to inform readers about the dangers of gaming addiction, and that it is up to the gamer to decide how much time is appropriate for themselves. This is mainly to show gamers that it is not the game creators' fault for making an addictive game, and that the gamers need to take responsibility for their actions. The audience is videogame users that play in excess, so the author is trying to get them to change their ways before they lose what they have, like in the authors case.

Free write

The last time I was really happy was when I went to senior week with all my friends. It was exciting because it was the last time would see most of my friends from high school for a long time. We all were very pumped to get down to ocean city Maryland, so we left our house at 4am to drive down. The drive down seemed to take forever, but when we had arrived. The first thing we did was go get some breakfast, and then we hit the beach. We were all very tired so most of us fell asleep on the beach. After a long day on the beach, and a lot of sunburn, we went to the real estate office to get the keys to our house. When we got the house it set in that we had a whole week of vacation without any worries or responsibilities. That was one of the greatest experiences of my life, and I think about how I will not be close with most of the people that I was there. The day we left the only thing I could think about was how I was leaving for college the next day and I would lose contact with most of my friends. But for one week I had the time of my life and I still think about all the great times I had.

Peer Review Feedback

The peer review was very helpful. Vishal gave me good points about how to make my paper relate back to the definition of my word to make the paper more relevant to the topic of the paper. I also was pointed out some of my weaker points that I needed to remove from the paper, because they worked against my argument more than they helped. Next, Vishal showed me how to restructure some of my sentences that were very awkward. Finally, he looked for some grammatical errors that needed to be fixed. Some things that I thought could go better is fixing the rhetorical appeals in my paper. When I look over someone else's paper I now know that grammatical errors are the last thing i should look for, and that I should focus on the actual content of the paper and how it relates to the purpose of the paper.

Violent videogames are not harmful to children
-purely entertainment
-they do not incite violence
-there is no damage caused to the people playing the games

Topic for Definition Paper

Freedom of speech debate, the word Freedom.

Rebuttal Topic

Evan's Two Moms chapter 23 page 375

Dexter and Smalley debate

The main point of contention between Dexter and Smalley is whether the assemblers would be able to build more assemblers. Dexter thinks they will be able to, but Smalley believes they have fat and sticky fingers so it would not be possible.

In the argument Dexter's and Smalley's reputations and fame in the scientific community are at stake and which ever turns out to be correct will receive great valor throughout the world.

Dexter and Smalley mention each others arguments and point out flaws in their points. Smalley agrees with a few of Dexter's points, but then argues the details of others which makes him seem more reliable of a source. Smalley also critiques the vague statements Dexter talks about like the enzymes and ribosomes.

Dexter seems very reliable, because he was a pioneer of the nano technology research and he even cofounded an institute. Dexter also helps seem more trustworthy by mentioning other scientist and organizations that back his studies. Smalley is a glorified professor and mentions how he graduated from MIT.

One Fallacy by Smalley is that he uses every point that Dexter says and turns it to a comparison of a waltz and a girl and a boy dancing together. Dexter has a fallacy in believing that his idea of self-producing nanobots are plausible in a real atmosphere instead of on the computer.

I believe Smalley makes the more convincing argument by showing that each of Dexter's ideas are flawed and will not work in a real world situation and are only fairy tales.